Late July... Steve and I are so excited to find out that in nine months from now, we will become a family of five. Things go well for the first couple of weeks, then cramping and bleeding start. By late August, I have been to the ER twice out of fear that I am loosing the baby. Each time, our sweet baby looks great, but am told that I have a 50% chance of miscarrying. I am told that I am not able to work for the next month, and I am to be on modified bedrest until the end of September.
Mid-September... We decide to go ahead and do the first trimester screening, which screens for chromosomal "issues" such as Down syndrome and Trisomy 18. Baby had an increased nuchal fold measurement, and that, combined with our bloodwork, shoots our risk factor for Down syndrome from 1:700 to 1:20. Big jump. A little scary.
Three weeks later... we go for a 16 week ultrasound to monitor growth. Baby looks GREAT! Still having some bleeding, so I need to remain on modified bedrest for awhile longer. Oh, and the ultrasound tech tells us that she "thinks" this little baby is a GIRL! We'll have to wait and see.
November 3rd... Time for our big level 2 ultrasound. They take a really close look at baby, paying close attention to the heart and looking for other structural markers for Down syndrome or other Trisomies. Again, the baby is growing very well and all major organs look great. Relief!! We get confirmation that indeed, this little life inside of me is a GIRL!! Lydia is beside herself with excitement! The perinatologist comes in after the ultrasound and tells us that they did see one marker for Down syndrome, a small cyst on the baby's brain, which increased or risk ratio from 1:20 to 1:10. Very scary for us. We are given the option of going forward with an amniocentesis in which baby's cells will be collected and analyzed in order to give us definite answers. Risk of miscarriage with the procedure is as low as .5%.
We pray for guidance, and ultimately make the decision to go ahead with the amnio. Doctor said it was a textbook procedure, and we stop for lunch at Big Bowl before heading home to take it easy for the rest of the day. Later that evening, I notice that when I stand up I seem to be leaking amniotic fluid (a complication of the procedure). Call the doctor, who advises me to "lay low" for the next couple of days. Worried out of my mind, I do just that for the following day and night. The next morning, I awake to find that I am bleeding and very crampy. The doctor wants to see me right away. I head downtown , and wait for what seems like forever in the waiting room. Finally they call me back, take a quick look at baby via ultrasound, and all looks good. Thank God! However, the cramping is still present, and the doctor sees that I am having small contractions. She sends me home for a good week of strict bedrest. Doctor tells me that I am at a real risk for loosing our little girl.
Guilt quickly sets in. We have put our little girl's life on the line because of our own selfishness... our need to know. If only we had trusted in God that no matter what the outcome, we would have the strength to get through. Regret.
Week two of bedrest... 21 weeks gestation...still a small leak, but the baby is still looking good! Thank God. We have our next appointment with the perinatologist on Dec. 2nd, when we will learn more about what the rest of this pregnancy might look like. My doctor tells us that if the leak in the amniotic sac is not healed, then chances are I will be admitted to the hospital at 23-24 weeks gestation for the remainder of the pregnancy. I tell her through the tears, "well, that just won't work for me." She smiles at me, knowing all too well that I will do whatever is needed- and then some- to protect this precious life inside of me.
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